Session 49: Chapel of Love (And Death (And Fireballs))

"So the wedding's over. Nothing bad happened?" --Soveliss

We begin immediately with Torinn going to retrieve his misplaced downpayment on the Portable Hole. He is not, however, able to secure the return of all of his funds, as Loch, the half-orc proprietor of Loch and Lodestone institutes an impromptu “Holding Fee” for the canceled transaction. In exchange for fair dealings, Torinn pays him more. Loch in return vows a solemn oath to continue to sell Torinn goods at any hour that the store is open.

At the royal meeting hall, a crowd has gathered. Salazar arrives and is met first by an over-eager Sulfin. Finally satisfied to make the acquaintance of the wizard in whose possession he knows the Axe to be. Salazar, having no time for that, walks past him and into the hall. A brief conversation with Kahma confirms that they are ready to begin, and Salazar takes his place at the front for their large, but brief, ceremony.

Torinn arrives, after being detained and shopping, moments before the bell is rung. Detective Gittes, in the time since Torinn’s departure, has begun to pull old files under G for Grimjaw. And finds many such files are missing. Files are lost all the time. It happens. But it seems to have happened more, here. He has shared this revelation with a few trusted colleagues, who have similarly been working. They don’t have much to go on yet, but they now, at Torinn’s remarkably convincing, believe a conspiracy to be afoot. And believe that Valdi is part of it. He has suspiciously been involved in suspected illicit activity before, but never arrested, or even brought in for question on such activities. Gittes requests that Torinn keep a close eye on Valdi for the duration of the ceremony. After having been question, he may try to make contact with someone, or even slink away early. The detective, however, would be unable to enter the hall without an invitation, or stealth.

The ceremony begins proper, and words are said. It is a warm ceremony, kind words are said by Horgrim. There is a hand-fasting, but the nature of the wedding produces very few tears. It is just Fine™. Until the very end. The bell is chimed to signify the official beginning of their union. When kablam. The doors are burst, and streaming in, over the bodies of shredded guards outside, or plagued dwarves. The aberrant remains of countless dwarves from the Dregs, and even above.

Salazar is quick to dispatch large groups with his newly learned fireballs. Many in the hall join the fight. Horgrim ceremoniously brought his axe and hammer, and makes short work of a stream of plague dwarves as they stream single-file through one door. Soveliss maintains concentration on a Spike Growth that shreds unknowing Plague Dwarves. Torinn conjures a giant snake that begins assembly-line-style constricting dwarf after dwarf.

Another wave, they continue the fight. The plaguers push in, slaughtering the hapless attendees. Another fireball once an area has been made clear. Soon, though… something else follows. Something bigger. Something terrifying. Something threatening. Something quite high CR’d especially for a fight already swarming with minor threats. Something so scary that its very moan sends nearly the entire hall into fits of incomprehensible horr- It’s a sloth.

However, at the arrival of this Future-Sloth, Salazar experiences an assault. Something seems to crush the life out of him, nearly sending him to his fe-knees. This first attack he attributes to the arrival of this strange creature. But after Torinn polymorphs it into everyone’s favorite token image of a sloth, the attack continues. He anxiously scans the hall looking for signs of someone focusing their efforts on him. Maybe this assault is some kind of spell. As a last resort, he sheds his ceremonial robe to reveal the robe of eyes underneath. The sight of the robe becomes his own, and he can see his assailant. An invisible something-or-other. And two more coming in through the door, over the now-polymorphed-but-still-scary manta-sloth.

The invisible whats-a-whosit continues its attack, and Salazar is forced to use Conservatard. The dagger extends his life, but the ferocious elemental is undeterred. Salazar flees, and the stalker follows. Momentarily knocking Salazar unconscious, and intent on finishing the job. Only through healing by Torinn does Salazar survive, and not take what were going to be a death failure for each attack. Though, to his credit, Torinn did briefly attempt subversive murder by suggesting a Medicine stabilization over magical healing. He was convinced by the voice of imagination-figment-Salazar in his head to use true healing.

Soveliss follows the gaze of Kahma, Salazar, and eventually Jeremy to place magical arrows at a high velocity into the form of this completely unseen attacker. The arrows definitely interact with something, as seemingly in mid air their trajectory changes, their speed slows, and they fall to the ground.

Torinn maintains concentration on the Snake and considers moonbeam before instead deciding on just sending out chill vibes.

Jeremy follows one elemental as it enters the room, and smites it brandingly, allowing other nearby dwarves to assist in the assault. Thosk assails the third with searing beams as it passes him and Beelines toward Salazar.

Salazar is attacked several more times, healed again by Kahma, and by the graces of good fortune, a clever idea to unbind the magic on one such creature, and the faces of the dwarven gods through Magic missiles, the three invisible whatevers are finally released.

The congregation stands amid the smokey, bloody, burning wreckage and carnage of a once Adequate™ wedding ceremony. And no one even got any cake yet.


ZacharyGallagher ZacharyGallagher

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