One-Shot 4: Return to Caer Wynn
Sadder blub

We awaken in the pool surrounded by the sleeping aboleths, greet a door, get around it. But when we attempt to see what’s inside some aboleths try to stop us. There’s a fight, we lose, and are dominated. You’d think more would happen, but that’s really just about it.

Oh, I mean also it was technically revealed that for some reason a cadre of aboleths guarded the sarcophagus 4000 years ago and ordered it to be taken to Xxiphu, their temple. That might be important. Sadly no one knows that.

Session 82: Like Father, Like Son (Or something...)

We exit stage left after the lava pit. There’s walls of stone and ice magically conjured that block the way. But STATUE POWER! There’s a tunnel to the underdark. Fuck that. Another wall, STATUE POWER. Very, very short work of some kobolds on the other side of it.

A worg gets away, but is heard in the distance gettin’ fucked. We round the corner and find some GOLIATHS!? WHOAAAA.

Anyway, there’s a camp. Goliaths have been harried by kobolds for two weeks unable to progress or leave. Turns out Orilo, Toro’s father, has led the best from his tribe up here to complete the Javier Bardem, also.

They party, and plan to set out in the morning.

Session 81: We didn't start the fire.
Stinking Cloud doing the DM's work for him.

Beginning to set out after killing the first elemental, they hear some shouting. Oh boy, it’s Emon returning from his scouting being chased by oozes, drow, and an owlbear. The adventure begins!

Kill this elemental, then kill that elemental!

Then those rage drakes! Then Shra will cast an obscuring poisonous cloud that prevents all future progress in combat! Hurrah!

Qax gets nervous for some reason after the dragon roar, but doesn’t seem to want to talk about it and the others let that slide.

They find a pool of lava, but it’s cool. Arcane Gate!

There were some dragon roars, and why are these fire elementals making all this lava?


Session 80: A Little Hot Foot, or "The Floor is Lava"
"Sad blub" -- The Black Pudding, probably.

The party, feeling tired and wounded, decides to stop for a long rest where they stand. They set up a magical hound for watch, and head to sleep. Only an hour into their sleep, the hound is barking. quite loudly.

To the west, the party sees as they rouse themselves, are several acidic oozes. Groaning, the party readies themselves for combat. Ulgrim is the first to charge in, and is reduced quickly to 2 hitpoints. Through some thunderwave, some Conjure Animals, and some Statue Smashin’, they’re able to kill all but one, and save Ulgrim. For the very last, however, things get… cruel.

Shra ignites a bonfire underneath while keeping concentration on black tentacles to keep it in place. Torinn alights it with a moonbeam. And Ulgrim and Toro take turns flinging mind-rending insults at the ooze. It can’t understand why, but it just felt… sad. And so it was shamed to death.

The party rests, and takes the statue for a ride. Not wanting to spend time bickering, Toro orders everyone onto the statue, and orders it into the curtain. Relenting a bit because of their whining, he agrees to turn on the aura at least before they walk through the magma curtain. The curtain is dissipated, however the party as a result takes biting cold damage. The statue “speeds” through and they turn the aura off inside.

Soon, however, they’re taking fire damage from the intense heat of this oven, and their attempts at sending out bat scouts are burnt.

They can’t turn the aura on while they’re on the statue, but they can’t get off the statue because they’re wading in a pool of magma.

The party is faced with a problem. How to get safe?

Ulgrim: Take the statue back to solid ground, turn the aura on, and we’ll walk through!
Torinn: I’ll summon bats. We ride them, turn the aura on, and land!
Shra: I want a drink.

Toro: Everyone, no. Get on sarcophagus. Sarcophagus solves all problems.

So they do. They statue steps back, turns on the aura, and the party hops off. Safely traversing the territory.

They come upon a fire elemental just hanging around, and deduce that it must be conjuring the magic that’s turning this place into a magma sauna. They use the statue to disturb the elemental. And with a combination of an endless decanter, and a cold aura statue, they’re quickly able to douse both the elemental, and a portion of the lava floor. In response they’re attacked by a group of magma mephits and a large red skinned, glowing snake. However, those too are quickly dispatched by the elemental.

There we stop, for now.

Session 79: Drow-sing Rod
"I smack her around a bit" --Chris Brown (Toro)

The party scouts for like a super long time before they find some drow hanging other drow up. That’s weird, let’s kill them.

After killing like a whole bunch they ask, “Hey, so, wtf?”

They’re like, “We’re the Broken! I’m Broken Priestess Sassandra. We hate Lolth and Lolth Drow, and those were some Lolth Drow. We’re on out way to Zauvir to fuck up some more Drow but got lost. That’s our magic statue Aganast that helps us travel the melted rock parts, please don’t take it. Also there are no more drow ahead I promise and the DM rolled a 20 deception and I can prove it, but they didn’t actually end up taking the path that lead to the other drow so I didn’t even get to be smug about it but whatevs.”

They find a wall of lava and say “fuck it” and stop there for the night.

Session 78: Fire Giants and Their Goods

The giant leads the party into the keep of Ironslag to speak with Duke Zalto. There they explain their quest and are gifted some other people that were staying as guests (servants) of the fire giants. Ulgrim the dwarf, Shra the lizardfolk, and Xanthor, who are playing cards when the party shows up.

The fire giants approve of Toro’s quest, respect the goddess Jet, and also have a terrible fear of what lurks below.

But Toro has another request. He wants that cup, which Toro learns is named “Valor’s Stein”.

Zalto agrees, but proves to be less honorable than Toro thought he would bee, and even though Toro goes 2-1 against Zalto, Zalto declares himself the winner.

Toro is kinda pissed, but surrounded by fire giants he can’t really do anything about it.

They rest as guests and set out in the morning. Down below they’re dropped on by a whole mess of oozes. They beat them, and we stop there.

Session 77: So Long Tharious
You were just a Candle in the Wind.

They heal Tharious, and decide to rely on their old faithful, polymorph. They Sloth the aberration, and toro takes it outside as high as he can in a round or two, and rops it.

It doesn’t die from the fall, but the snow and cold do douse the fire aura temporarily. From there they finish it off. Qax tells them it was the Spawn of Xul-Bohr. The party is distraught, they thought they’d taken out the leader. They worry what the hell they’ll have to fight that SPAWNS on of those things.

They head back inside, figure out the puzzle to open the statue, get in. More kobolds and a salamandar, and more burnt fire giant corpses. They engage the kobolds and Salamander, and the party decides it’s time for Toro to be a T-Rex to ride. Emon gets on. Tharious and Torinn hand back and decide to poke from afar. The kobolds swarm the T-Rex, and the result is what you’d expect. A few more kobolds and the Salamander pass up the T-Rex and head for the healer and the druid. Torinn turns into a giant eagle and flies away from Tharious, leaving him alone, so he won’t break concentration on the polymorph for Toro.However, the salamandar, tragically, is able to kill Tharious before escaping.

One kobold also manages to charm Toro magically into letting him live, so he disguises as a corpse and the others don’t notice.

After killing off all the other kobolds, a door opens and a fire giant is standing there. We stop there.

Session 76: Spawn of Xul-Bohr

They fight the bulettes and kobolds, and take on prisoner. Qax. He tells them all about how they worship Xul-Bohr now. The party figures out Xul-Bohr is that aberration they never fully killed.

They are standing before Ironslag after a week’s travel through the rocky passes. Ironslag sits in the path to Firestorm Peak. So they head in.

It’s pretty rough in here, and there are fire giant corpses that have been burnt. That’s bad.

Some hears some deep speech coming from the next room, though since they gave the conch to abuella to control the chuul in Wamor to protect their house, they don’t understand what’s being said.

Tharious goes in to investigate and sees a huge magma aberration, and a bunch of kobolds all hanging around a statue. The magma aberration spots them and it and all the kobolds charge. Toro flies up and drops the sarcophagus on the first kobolds that appear. Several more are in the back, but then the magma aberration literally rolls over all of them and instantly melts Tharious with a spray of lava. Well, not melts, but does knock him unconscious. And it radiates heat that deals damage to everyone nearby. Next turn Tharious could be dead. Toro dives down to retrieve Tharious and heal him, and we end there.

Session 75: Sex and the City, but with assholes.

They talk to Horgrim, the current king of Barumila. They go shopping and Emon steals some Dexterity Gloves.

Torinn asks around about some people. Detective Gittes left the city not long after the players did. Horgrim’s sister also is not at Barumila, instead off elsewhere doing what she can to help the less fortunate. Barumila has opened the pass to Naramunz and has begun rebuilding their relationships with the other dwarven fortresses. The two Hammer/Axe brothers have reconciled and after winning the tournament were asked to make mechanized suits of plate for the military, which is their full-time occupation now.

Toro decides he wants to shop. And how might he do that? Why, but finding a bitchin’ workout book. But where? He rolls terribly for investigation and is about to give up when Torinn decides to lend a hand. Together they track down that one dwarf that actually gave Toro a challenge in wrestling. He’s a local superstar in the Fire Beetle, a tavern in the Dregs.

They talk to him, and he is impressed by Toro carrying around a heavy sarcophagus just to keep a promise, so he agrees to give Toro the manual for free if he can promise to bring back a fire giant duke’s mug. Didn’t say why, just wanted it. Toro and Thum the dwarf go off on a man date and begin crashing through the walls of residential district of Barumila.

They set off in the morning after some rest and after days of uneventful travel on the roads passing travelling merchants are attacked by some kobolds and bulettes in the pass toward Firestorm Peak. We end the session there.

74: The Javier Bardem

They get some breakfast, when Lord Greymane shows up. They throw some mad shade at lord Greymane for trying to be buddy-buddy but really being like “give me what I want”. He wants their vote to make him temporary commander of the forces of Lere. Lere being made up of many houses has many small armies, and since the time has come to unite them to face the undead threat, the idea of a single head commander is important. Greymane loosely held that responsibility during the siege. He wants it again.

However Shiek Aashir informed Torinn that Greymane intends to use the political capital he’ll gain from being Imperator to make himself de facto emperor once the dust settles. So, there’s that.

Lord Greymane is like super intimidated once the chuul army shows up that Torinn had summoned a couple hours earlier. He leaves them a map that shows them the progress the dracolich Zeiram has made so far. It’s pretty bad.

That’s when they decide to go take care of Toro’s Javier Bardem. Who knows when they’ll get another chance. They teleport to Barumila. There they see Valdi. Torinn gets GOOD satisfaction in fucking with him. He’s still a noble. Albeit a poorer one, and much more timid. We stop there for the night.


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