Session 86: Javier Bardem - Meet Jet

Take control of Firestorm Kobolds. Take control of money brazier. Rescue priests. It’s Tharious! He’s 4x exhausted, and has been tortured. Head back to temple

Priests sleep for like 18 hours. When they wake up, Aela lets Nieles know he’s in charge of Temple because he used to be athletic in his old life. He accepts.

Do Javier Bardem. Weird ritual, tunnel of light in “space”, sounds of thousands of crashing windows (or mirrors?) Arrive in Jet’s “domain”. Impress her with ritual. She keeps Toro and the sarcophagus. Happy ending.

One the way back, the high elf “Vosk” somehow interrupts their teleportation. He seems as confused as they are. Torinn falls unconscious. Bird goes crazy. Arrive back in temple.

Session 85: Xul'Bhor

Grapple the taunting kobolds outside and find out about the back exit tunnel that leads to Xul’Bhor’s lair.

Head down asap. Complain about unwinnable fight after single round of combat. Win fight. Make up other reasons why we won rather than accepting it was always a winnable fight. Demand 3 levels for winning winnable fight… for some reason. DM gives in/up.

Session 84: The Temple of Jet

Explore the temple, pray a bit. Find the library, raid the tomb, carve up a wall, get attacked by tentacles, some kobolds taunt us outside.

Session 83: Blizzard, Fangs, and Temples

There’s a blizzard, it’s pretty shitty. Torinn spots a cave some distance away, and Ulgrim navigates down a slope to bring their caravan to safety, but when there’s a more treacherous drop, Toro is able to anchor himself to let the others climb down. In the last stretch, Shra uses his flaming sphere to carve out a path.

Inside the cave, though, they’re attacked by 3 remorhazes. It’s pretty tough. One of the goliaths actually dies, and Shra is nearly killed. However, he still bravely swaps himself out for Xanthor who’s super about to die.

They make it to the temple afterward to find it raided and empty.

One-Shot 4: Return to Caer Wynn
Sadder blub

We awaken in the pool surrounded by the sleeping aboleths, greet a door, get around it. But when we attempt to see what’s inside some aboleths try to stop us. There’s a fight, we lose, and are dominated. You’d think more would happen, but that’s really just about it.

Oh, I mean also it was technically revealed that for some reason a cadre of aboleths guarded the sarcophagus 4000 years ago and ordered it to be taken to Xxiphu, their temple. That might be important. Sadly no one knows that.

Session 82: Like Father, Like Son (Or something...)

We exit stage left after the lava pit. There’s walls of stone and ice magically conjured that block the way. But STATUE POWER! There’s a tunnel to the underdark. Fuck that. Another wall, STATUE POWER. Very, very short work of some kobolds on the other side of it.

A worg gets away, but is heard in the distance gettin’ fucked. We round the corner and find some GOLIATHS!? WHOAAAA.

Anyway, there’s a camp. Goliaths have been harried by kobolds for two weeks unable to progress or leave. Turns out Orilo, Toro’s father, has led the best from his tribe up here to complete the Javier Bardem, also.

They party, and plan to set out in the morning.

Session 81: We didn't start the fire.
Stinking Cloud doing the DM's work for him.

Beginning to set out after killing the first elemental, they hear some shouting. Oh boy, it’s Emon returning from his scouting being chased by oozes, drow, and an owlbear. The adventure begins!

Kill this elemental, then kill that elemental!

Then those rage drakes! Then Shra will cast an obscuring poisonous cloud that prevents all future progress in combat! Hurrah!

Qax gets nervous for some reason after the dragon roar, but doesn’t seem to want to talk about it and the others let that slide.

They find a pool of lava, but it’s cool. Arcane Gate!

There were some dragon roars, and why are these fire elementals making all this lava?


Session 80: A Little Hot Foot, or "The Floor is Lava"
"Sad blub" -- The Black Pudding, probably.

The party, feeling tired and wounded, decides to stop for a long rest where they stand. They set up a magical hound for watch, and head to sleep. Only an hour into their sleep, the hound is barking. quite loudly.

To the west, the party sees as they rouse themselves, are several acidic oozes. Groaning, the party readies themselves for combat. Ulgrim is the first to charge in, and is reduced quickly to 2 hitpoints. Through some thunderwave, some Conjure Animals, and some Statue Smashin’, they’re able to kill all but one, and save Ulgrim. For the very last, however, things get… cruel.

Shra ignites a bonfire underneath while keeping concentration on black tentacles to keep it in place. Torinn alights it with a moonbeam. And Ulgrim and Toro take turns flinging mind-rending insults at the ooze. It can’t understand why, but it just felt… sad. And so it was shamed to death.

The party rests, and takes the statue for a ride. Not wanting to spend time bickering, Toro orders everyone onto the statue, and orders it into the curtain. Relenting a bit because of their whining, he agrees to turn on the aura at least before they walk through the magma curtain. The curtain is dissipated, however the party as a result takes biting cold damage. The statue “speeds” through and they turn the aura off inside.

Soon, however, they’re taking fire damage from the intense heat of this oven, and their attempts at sending out bat scouts are burnt.

They can’t turn the aura on while they’re on the statue, but they can’t get off the statue because they’re wading in a pool of magma.

The party is faced with a problem. How to get safe?

Ulgrim: Take the statue back to solid ground, turn the aura on, and we’ll walk through!
Torinn: I’ll summon bats. We ride them, turn the aura on, and land!
Shra: I want a drink.

Toro: Everyone, no. Get on sarcophagus. Sarcophagus solves all problems.

So they do. They statue steps back, turns on the aura, and the party hops off. Safely traversing the territory.

They come upon a fire elemental just hanging around, and deduce that it must be conjuring the magic that’s turning this place into a magma sauna. They use the statue to disturb the elemental. And with a combination of an endless decanter, and a cold aura statue, they’re quickly able to douse both the elemental, and a portion of the lava floor. In response they’re attacked by a group of magma mephits and a large red skinned, glowing snake. However, those too are quickly dispatched by the elemental.

There we stop, for now.

Session 79: Drow-sing Rod
"I smack her around a bit" --Chris Brown (Toro)

The party scouts for like a super long time before they find some drow hanging other drow up. That’s weird, let’s kill them.

After killing like a whole bunch they ask, “Hey, so, wtf?”

They’re like, “We’re the Broken! I’m Broken Priestess Sassandra. We hate Lolth and Lolth Drow, and those were some Lolth Drow. We’re on out way to Zauvir to fuck up some more Drow but got lost. That’s our magic statue Aganast that helps us travel the melted rock parts, please don’t take it. Also there are no more drow ahead I promise and the DM rolled a 20 deception and I can prove it, but they didn’t actually end up taking the path that lead to the other drow so I didn’t even get to be smug about it but whatevs.”

They find a wall of lava and say “fuck it” and stop there for the night.

Session 78: Fire Giants and Their Goods

The giant leads the party into the keep of Ironslag to speak with Duke Zalto. There they explain their quest and are gifted some other people that were staying as guests (servants) of the fire giants. Ulgrim the dwarf, Shra the lizardfolk, and Xanthor, who are playing cards when the party shows up.

The fire giants approve of Toro’s quest, respect the goddess Jet, and also have a terrible fear of what lurks below.

But Toro has another request. He wants that cup, which Toro learns is named “Valor’s Stein”.

Zalto agrees, but proves to be less honorable than Toro thought he would bee, and even though Toro goes 2-1 against Zalto, Zalto declares himself the winner.

Toro is kinda pissed, but surrounded by fire giants he can’t really do anything about it.

They rest as guests and set out in the morning. Down below they’re dropped on by a whole mess of oozes. They beat them, and we stop there.


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